17.11.06

The Bollywood Superman

The video above simply blows me away with its incandescent loopiness. Here's my top ten list of reasons you have to watch the whole thing;

10 - Superman and Spiderwoman doing their dance moves while in full flight. Apparently nobody contacted them to point out that Spiderwoman can't actually fly.

9 - Superman's 'S' - which isn't on his chest like a crest so much as it covers his entire upper torso from groin to goiter.

8 - Supes black boots. There's a sort of porn-guy-with-socks-on charm to this. Like he just forgot that he was supposed to pull the big red boots on and went with the regular footwear.

7 - The gratuitous fight scene is worth the price of admission alone, but the best part is when he twirls the villainous wannabe rapist over his head by the groin, and then pulls his hand away to leave the guy spinning above his head half out of frame. Simply excellent.

6 - Superman is mere fraction of inches away from sporting a full-on Indian Mullet.

5 - Spiderwoman's booty - lets just say the costume isn't kind to her assets as she appears to be hiding small animals beneath the blue tights, and every twirl she makes threatens to set them free.

4 -The total absence of any remotely human emotions other than unbridled joy. Even when defeating villainous wannabe rapists Superman looks like he is one bong hoot away from permanently wiring his face into a Cheshire grimace.

3 - The multiple faux kisses at the end. Priceless.

2 - The video has apparently zero budget for special effects, but a cast of dozens for the dance scenes wasn't an issue. Exactly why there are dozens of on-lookers waiting around for Supes and Spideygal to arrive so they can launch into an extended dance montage is a question best left for those in possession of large amounts of LSD or a working knowledge of Indian film language conventions. My understanding is that all Bollywood films are required to have utterly ludicrous situations involving hundreds of dancers to move the plot along.

1 - Supes busting a move in the garden. Just awesome.

2 comments:

Astoroth said...

I understand tentacled space aliens raping japaneese high school students better than I understand this. OW. Where's my hentai?

Jennifer said...

Yeah, it was pretty bizarre, and fun making. Maybe it's the poor quality of the film here, but I thought Spidergirl looked healthy, not like she was hiding small animals in her tights. You know, early Buffy in appearance, not Kate Moss.