Open Marriages and Welfare Moms

An interesting take on why 'Open Marriages' are bad, based on a blog exchange of views between 'Gene Expression' and 'Bitch PHD'.

Here is a summary of GNXP's argument;

1. Open relationships are likely to cause sexual jealousy
2. Sexual jealousy is a powerful negative force in relationships
3. Sexual jealousy is evolutionarily hardwired.
4. Large % of divorces are caused by infidelity
5. Divorce leads to a drop in standard of living for the wife
6. Single mothers tend more often to end up on welfare, etc.

His conclusion (and this is my summary of it, not his) then being that because society as a whole is forced to pay for the single mom's on welfare, society should not endorse open marriages.

However, I think his argument is deeply flawed;

1. Open relationships are likely to cause sexual jealousy:

Ok, sure, but what is unique about that? Sexual jealousy occurs in traditional marriages, and all sorts of other lesser arrangements. It would have been interesting if he'd argued that Open Marriages have MORE sexual jealousy - but he doesn't, in part because I believe it wouldn't be true - Open Marriages have the sexual jealousy right up front and acknowledged in the basic make-up of the marriage itself. What makes sexual jealousy toxic would be to have a marriage where nobody was communicating about the sexual jealousy taking place.

2. Uncontroversial
3. Ditto.
4. Ditto - though what relevance infidelity has on divorce with regards to Open Marriages isn't established. Infidelity is 'cheating', and in an Open marriage this activity isn't cheating because assuming consent on all the parties to the extra-marital sex, no body is lacking in fidelity.
5. Uncontroversial
6. Ditto

Here's GNXP's conclusion;

"Open relationships are one thing when they're between partners that don't have kids. Even a total flameout has fairly isolated effects in that case. It's basically just a bad breakup due to sleeping around, and no big deal from my perspective. Where the equation changes is when there's the possibility of having the taxpayer foot the bill for someone else's mistake."

Only he hasn't established his argument. First he fails because he hasn't established that;

-Open Marriages have an excess of sexual jealousy compared to other marriages

Secondly the argument fails because;

- his linkage of divorce to infidelity conflates infidelity with the very arrangement an Open Marriage legitimizes internally, and

Lastly assuming we overlook the flaws, the conclusion is still at best weak. Even if we accepted there is an increased possibility that an Open Marriage would end more often than other marriages in the single-mom on welfare - it doesn't follow that the institution (such as it is) of Open marriages is any less valid than any other form of marriage. Marriages aren't something to be judged by libertarian cost benefit analysis to society, they should be judged only by those who are actually in the marriage.

Consider an analgous case, assume we discovered Traditional Christian marriages had a higher divorce rate than other marriages (and thus more single moms on the dole), would we be correct in soliciting for the end to Traditional Christian marriages?