How to create a post-modern theology!

Before one of my friends writes something caustic about my endorsement of either theology or postmodernity (I reject both as being vacuous at best, and dangerous at worst), this is in the end, a satire.

And damn funny too. ;-) Here's an excerpt from the middle of the essay - it's short, so make sure you get to the punchline at the end.

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Adopting a postmodern perspective, you soon realise that making any metaphysical claims (such as claims that there actually is something 'out there' called 'God') is so passé, as is claiming any special privilege for theology, or claiming that it is anything but another 'discourse' among others. So, you explain that

[a] postmodern theology has had to rethink its warrant without authority from outside its own productive formulations. That is, theology is a textual production that is always in the middle of existing discourses, and there is always an outside of its achievements, but postmodern anti-foundationalism leaves it without special privilege. It makes a place of its own through strategies and tactics within a cacophony of diverse textual voices.

So, theology is now a ‘textual production’. That sounds vaguely Derridean, but is far too obvious. Where are the long words, the obfuscation, the jargon? You decide that in order to further ‘explain’ what ‘postmodern theology’ can mean, or what it actually is or does, you need to adopt the appropriate style and vocabulary. So, what words should you use? ‘Text’, obviously, but how about some more impressive words like ‘deconstruction’ and ‘denaturalize’, combined with a reference to subjectivity? Here goes:

Theology is text production and the deconstruction of constituted subjectivities denaturalizes the onto-theological frame of theological discourse. The frame is instead a materialistic fold in a specific nexus of forces relative to its social and intellectual location. Because of this folding the inside is implicated in an outside so that the achievement of thinking is nonidentical with itself.